Things to do at Walmart if you are bored

  • Pick up packages of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking.
  • Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off in 5-minute intervals.
  • Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
  • Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares” . . . and see what happens.
  • Go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
  • Move a ‘CAUTION! WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
  • When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
  • Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
  • While handling guns in the sporting goods department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
  • Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through say,’PICK ME! PICK ME!’
  • When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “NO! It’s those voices again!”

And last, but not least,

  • Go into a fitting room and yell real loud, “We’re out of toilet paper in here! “

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